Alone in my darkened room
Along with the blessed solitude
I lay straight and stare the wall
Figuring out my life's rises and falls
Thinking that I may belong to somewhere else
Knowing it made a little sense
Comprehending the purpose of my existence
Was I being created for practicing persistence
Thinking what forced me for doing wrongs
Why was I destined to hear the melancholic songs?
And when I ended up questioning myself
I saw a ray of light entering the room
I woke up and took a great deep sigh
A sigh of relief, that's what I believe
As Lord has shown me the way to fly
A reason to live; a purpose to die
Along with the blessed solitude
I lay straight and stare the wall
Figuring out my life's rises and falls
Thinking that I may belong to somewhere else
Knowing it made a little sense
Comprehending the purpose of my existence
Was I being created for practicing persistence
Thinking what forced me for doing wrongs
Why was I destined to hear the melancholic songs?
And when I ended up questioning myself
I saw a ray of light entering the room
I woke up and took a great deep sigh
A sigh of relief, that's what I believe
As Lord has shown me the way to fly
A reason to live; a purpose to die
19 comments:
i wonder what to write, it feels my words would be unable to justify for ur poems are really very good n sentimental.hope,courage and endless love..these are what ur writings convey,ur poems are so fine revealing a journey that moves from a state of despair to hope and unconditional love.i wish u continue writing ,,best of luck.
with all my love n best wishes
tayyaba
Mashallah....you are damn talented, don't you! good job again.God Bless You.
Great philosophical thoughts.. You've done a great job. I am inspired, as always!
there is a lot of depth and pain in these poems.. great job
Once again one word "Marvelous"
just wana say "keep it up"
Wow Sarah. Your poems have so much depth in it. It's always great to see such a talent. Keep up the good work!
Sharat Jaswal
Excellent work sarah. Keep puting up new work and try to choose as many touching topics as possible from around our lives. It's your say girl! use it wisely and
Be a voice of the unheard .......
I am not writer because after reading this poem i dont have words to express my feelings .......But
Your poem give the courage, hope to person who lost everything in life or unsuccesful person my believe that after reading this anyone can get courage and fight with the hard time of life....
Selection of words has depth like oceans and also pain in it......
It's a master piece, Keep it up
Wish you Best of Luck
Perwaiz
I find myself too weak when it comes to commenting on prose, and even weaker when it comes to poetry.
Sarah! I can just leave these lines 4 you.
Ist March 3:30 AM, while I was busy April-fooling my friends, your words reminded of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's novel 'One Hundred Years Of Solitude'.
Baran
wow what an amazing concept..
really appreciated..
nice.
MashaAllah, its too nice
May Allah give u all the succes n happiness in ur life (Aameen)
Sarah, you have a lot of potential as a poet. I would suggest that you review the phrasing in this piece to enhance some of the cliches or overused phrases you've used, such as "darkened room" and "ray of light". These are opportunities to really be interesting!
btw- you might really like gotpoetry.com, where you can get fabulous critique and suggestions from extremely talented writers.
Jack Huber
:)
Sarah..There is a big and beautiful world outside the the room..Check it out!!
Write something about daffodils,butterflies and the blue skies.
Be Happy and try to keep others.
On the whole!!! Live the Salsa Life..Damn it! ;)
FARHAN
You've got talent. It's rare that such expression issues forth like a spring of cool fresh water from the bowels of the fiery earth.
My only concern is your melancholy shouldn't consume you.
The pain of the past was perhaps meant to tap such talent. If so, it has achieved its purpose. Now, go inspire the world. Leave the pain behind. It had to be.
Dear Sarah...ur writings r really creative n speaks volumes abt ur creative imgination n d world in which u living with ur virgin thoughts. i really enjoyed reading ur creations. keep it up
loved the last line - "A reason to live..a purpose to die" :)
just have to polish the grammar in some places, otherwise the passion content is good in ur poems
Cheers
CRD
u r awesome n i m ur fan
@ Tayyaba, Fadi, Arshad, Noman, Jamil, Sharat, Amir, Perwaiz, Sheryar, Saahil, and Santosh: Thank you for reading my work and appreciating it :)
@Baran: I feel honored to have reminded you of a great novel and a wonderful writer.
@Jack: Thank you for the suggestions, Jack. I will be working on it. And I will try posting a few of them on gotpoetry.
@Farhan: Let me know if what a Salsa life is and I will be writing on it :)
@Glenn: You made my day. And it is one of the best comments, indeed.
@CRD: Thank you for liking, Chris.
@Sami: Thank you for making me a celebrity :) and for being one of my enthusiastic readers.
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